“If I can do it, anybody can:" Recovering addict shares story and advice

Shelby Miller is celebrating her 3rd year in recovery

(LAWRENCEBURG, Ind.) – Moores Hill native Shelby Miller knew what she was getting into. 

She grew up hearing about the dangers of drugs and had family members who told her that taking methamphetamine could lead to death.

In 2016, she was convicted of an alcohol-related offense and it led to her losing custody of her daughter. 

Following the custody hearing, she left the courthouse that day with one goal in mind. 

“I was heartbroken and didn’t want to be here anymore. I wanted to really find out if meth would actually kill me,” Miller recalled. 

“It didn’t kill me, but that first time on it got me hooked,” she added. 

That addiction would lead to several years of challenges, all while Miller was chasing her next high. 

“You’d see me on the streets picking at myself, talking to things that weren’t there, seeing things that weren’t there, thinking that I'm always being followed by the cops,” she said. 

While addicted to meth, she gave birth to two kids that she both lost custody of, and she also got arrested for possession of a needle.

“I loved my kids with everything I had inside of me, but when I lost custody of them, I had to tell them that Mommy is sick and can’t take care of you right now,” Shelby said. 

“I said you will be happier with someone else until I can get right,” she recalled.

She was sent to rehab clinics several times, but would often leave just a few days into the program to get high.

There is one day that Shelby will never forget. That is when her father drove her to a local graveyard.

“He told me to pick out where I wanted to be buried, because if I didn’t straighten up and get off drugs that is where I was headed. You don’t know how hard that is hearing your parent say that you will die if you don’t get help,” she said.

Shelby finally did get clean. She says it wasn’t from rehab either, but by quitting cold turkey. 

“Something just told me that I needed to get clean. I threw away and flushed away all the drugs that same day,” she recalled. 

It was just two weeks later when Shelby received exciting news: She was pregnant with her fourth child. She now credits her youngest son for saving her life.

“When I got clean I realized that it meant more to my kids and my parents, than it did to myself. And it was a whole different feeling hearing that they were proud of me,” she said.

We asked Shelby what advice she would give to a parent or family member of a current addict:

Her Answer: “You can’t give up, but you’ve got to quit giving”

Shelby says an addict will say they need money, simply to buy food or other necessities.

However, that money will likely fund their habit. She says that drug users are the best manipulators.

“They will lie and steal from people who love them the most, all for their next high. An addict's only love is drugs. Drugs change your heart, your mind, and your whole soul,” Shelby told us. 

She also added that it’s important to not give up on the user. And certainly don’t make fun of them for their struggles.

Shelby said that you can spend money to send your loved one to the 'best' rehab clinic or try and find another treatment, but it will all be a losing game.

If the person who is using isn't ready to quit, than you will not win.

"The best way a family can support an addict is being there to convince them they are strong enough to beat the addiction, convincing them that life is better without the drug, and standing beside them all the way through recovery," she said.

She reiterated that giving them money will not lead to getting them clean.

“Your love for your child is unbreakable, but there is a thing called “tough love” and seeing someone struggle with addiction is the hardest love to give,” she added.

LISTEN HERE: Shelby offers advice for current drug users:

Shelby is also warning those who are still getting high:

"Don't keep finding that next drug, you're liable to do it and not wake up from it. If it's meth it probably has fentanyl, if it's heroin it probably has fentanyl in it too," she warned.

She said that it's also important to get yourself away from the people and places that are contributing to your addiction.

One thing she has realized in recovery is that an addict isn't just hurting themselves, they are hurting those who care about them the most.

"I was struggling so hard in life that I didn't care about anything in the world. I just wanted to find where my next high would be and I never thought I would get clean," she said.

She added that recovery is a long process and it isn't supposed to be easy.

"You have to be strong enough to battle that addiction. I was an addict and I am not scared to admit that now. I realized at the end of the day, that I couldn't quit unless I truly wanted to be clean," she explained.

What’s Next For Shelby:

Shelby is celebrating 3 years and 3 months of being clean in October. 

She says some days are better than others, but she will continue her recovery no matter how hard life gets. 

“My daughter always says that I look so much better nowadays and says she is happy to come home to me,” Shelby said. 

Shelby is still in the process of regaining full custody of her four children, but is determined to bring the whole family together under one roof. 

As for sharing her story, Shelby has a strong interest in speaking with local students, juveniles who get in trouble, and even adults about her journey.

She wants to help as many people as possible break through the cycle of addiction.  

“No matter how hard life gets, I will continue my recovery and not fall back into that life again,” she said.

Here are some current photos of Shelby with her dad, family and kids: